New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
the raccoons are back...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
