I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its not stalking. its research.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
