I want to have your abortion
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
