I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
