It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
