Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize