Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
