look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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