do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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