i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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