Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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