I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
