That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
