I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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