Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
