Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will be naked everywhere
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
