i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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