He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He uses pillows to masturbate.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize