Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize