When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You dont lie about slip and slides
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
