Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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