So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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