I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
