i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
