Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
