Duck Duck Cougar?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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