i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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