my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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