People in love make me want to vomit
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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