Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
