My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize