just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
