HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
