Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Congratulations! We have a period
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
