Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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