North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
