Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think I died a long time ago.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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