We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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