Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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