somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
