I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
