$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
