I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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