If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
nutella sex= disaster
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
