..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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