if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
