All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
