I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
