I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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