yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
