Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
