can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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