i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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