im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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