I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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