ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
