I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
