It's Friday. Sex?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
