we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
